


Never Touch A Russian's Cookies (Unless You Ask For Permission)

by Phoebe_Snow



Series: Perfection Never Looked So Good [37]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Avengers Family, Birthday, Bonding, Confusing, Crack Relationships, Domestic Fluff, Don't Examine This Too Closely, Drama, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Gratuitous Smut, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I Don't Even Know, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Multi, Multiple genre, Sitcom, Snacks & Snack Food, Surprise Party, Swearing, don't touch Nat's food, or else, that adoption thing just came out of nowhere, trash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-12
Updated: 2017-06-26
Packaged: 2018-09-23 18:17:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 13,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9670406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phoebe_Snow/pseuds/Phoebe_Snow
Summary: Natasha has always loved Lorna Doone's. They're her favourite cookies to snack on when she's hungry, but unfortunately, someone has eaten her entire box.





	1. Just A Dusty Shelf

**Author's Note:**

> I know that I do comedy in most of my fics, but this is more of an absurd, darkish crack fic, than a serious one with silly times, so prepare for moments of wackiness. These chapters are all mostly going to be short, unless otherwise stated.

* * *

 

After a pretty lengthy lovemaking session with Steve, Natasha was hungry. Funny how sex with the super soldier always activated her food cravings, but she didn't read much into it. They both had strange food desires post coitus. For instance, if neither of them went asleep after sex, Steve usually wanted fried pickles and Natasha sometimes liked to munch on almond chocolate biscotti.

 

Nothing out of the ordinary, there.

 

The difference is, this time, Steve had went out like a light after a few minutes of cuddling with Natasha. He was such a teddy bear. Sometimes it was hard to believe that he could rip logs in half with no problem. Damn. Now, she was getting excited again.

 

Ah, well. If she had to, she would go back to the bedroom and wake Steve up. He bounced back faster than she did when it came to sex and she knew that he wouldn't mind if she initiated round two. Or would it be it five? She always had a hard time keeping track...

 

Humming to herself, Natasha made her way to the kitchen and opened the pantry door to get out her Lorna Doone's. God, those were some delicious cookies. She really loved them, even though cost a ridiculously sacrilegious price of five dollars at the grocery store - those savages should halve the price.

 

For this and this reason alone, Natasha bought her cookies and stashed them behind a fake wall in the pantry. Since the Avengers complex was full of so many people, she decided to install an aforementioned false wall in the pantry to hide her super yummy and only for herself unless otherwise noted snacks.

 

It was silly, really because Natasha wouldn't need to hide any of her snacks if people didn't keep going into them and eating them. Last week, Tony ate her last three snack wells, although they had tasted like shit because she'd accidentally purchased the fat free ones and he threw them up. So that wasn't too bad.

 

"The only person who knows how to keep their hands off my stuff is Thor, but he only eats three boxes of Poptarts every day. I wonder how he lives off that much sugar without dying. Being a Demi god probably has something to do with it."

 

Walking into the pantry, Natasha turned on the little light bulb above her head and closed the door. She didn't need anyone seeing her hiding place. Smirking, she touched the correct spot on the left side of the wall and it lit up with her spider symbol on it - that was a warning sign to anyone who might accidentally stumble onto her spot to back away while they valued their lives.

 

Nobody messed with Natasha's food and got away with it. Tony could attest to that. She was pretty sure that he was still dealing with jock itch after she dumped foot powder in his underwear.

 

After typing in a four digit code on a holographic keypad that appeared on the wall - hey, a girl could still never be too careful - there was a small hissing sound as the wall shifted and revealed the hidden shelf that Natasha's snack were on. She reached for her cookies, knowing that they were in the usual place they always were, only to touch...a dusty shelf.

 

"What the hell?"

 

The redhead furrowed her brow and ran her hand along the entire shelf, but there was no yellow rectangular package in her reach. In fact, there were no cookies in her secret hiding space at all. There could only be one reason for this.

 

One of the assholes on her team ate her fucking cookies.

 

 


	2. Morning Pleasures

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Natasha is still pissed about her purloined cookies, Steve is concerned and Bucky and Wanda have a little fun in the kitchen._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has smut. I didn't even intend to add it, but it just unfolded that way. Haha. So it's longer than the first.

* * *

 

 

Wanda rubbed her tired eyes as she walked into the kitchen, smiling when she saw Natasha, Bucky and Steve standing around the large kitchen island. "Good morning, everyone," she said pleasantly and sidled next to Bucky, giving her boyfriend a sweet kiss.

"You didn't eat my cookies, did you, Wanda?" Came an accusatory tone from Natasha who eyed the young brunette carefully.

Wanda looked over at Natasha and widened her eyes when she realized how tired she looked. Her nose was red, her hair was frizzy and her eyes were...puffy?? Had she been crying? That question was strange, too. "Natasha, I'm on a sugar diet, remember? Nothing sweet for two weeks straight?"

"Well, some asshole ate my cookies." Natasha grunted and smacked Steve's chest in annoyance.

"Hey. What did I do?" The blond said in complaint.

"Nothing. I just needed someone to hit."

At this, Bucky chimed in, "Good idea. Steve, take her in the closet for a quickie and maybe she'll calm down."

"Go to hell, Bucky," Natasha hissed and she turned on her heel, exiting the kitchen.

"Nat! Wait!" Steve sighed and shook his head. "Thanks a lot, Buck. Sorry about that, Wanda. She thinks that someone stole her Lorna Doone's from her secret stash of junk food and she's pissed off about it."

Wanda's lips parted and she spoke hesitantly. "You mean that hidden panel she set up in the pantry?"

"...how did you know about it?" Steve had that familiarly suspicious tone in his voice.

"Calm down, Steve. I would never eat someone else's food. Even if I were going to replace it later."

"Then how do you know where the panel is?"

She sighed. "I know about the panel because I saw her putting snacks into it last week. I couldn't sleep, so I went to the kitchen to heat up a cup of milk, but she was in the pantry, stashing stuff in it, so I decided to go back to my room."

Bucky rubbed Wanda's shoulders. "You don't have to explain yourself, Wanda. You're not on trial here." He gave Steve a warning glare. "I don't like you or Natasha accusing my girlfriend of eating those cookies."

Steve lowered his head and sighed again, feeling like an ass for what he said. "You're right. I'm sorry, Wanda. I don't usually jump to conclusions like this, but I've been up with Nat for over an hour, trying to calm her down."

Wanda patted Steve's hand. "I understand, Steve. No hard feelings, okay?"

"Okay."

Bucky thought for a moment and added, "If someone ate her cookies, I'm sure they'll be replaced."

Steve sighed again and looked off in the direction Natasha had gone. "They'd better be or there'll be hell to pay. You know how territorial Nat gets about food."

"Oh, yeah. I would not want to get in her way when she's angry about food. We've already seen that when Stark ate her Avengers Cheez-Its."

There was silence for a moment, then Steve laughed. "Oh, man! I tried my best to forget about that! Didn't she program his suit to fill with feces every time he flew?"

Wanda wrinkled her nose in disgust. "Yes, she did. I remember that too well."

Bucky laughed, too, and it's not like anyone could blame him. Natasha was more crafty and skilled with revenge pranks than he and Sam were. It was both hilarious and terrifying. "Haha! She did! He had to get Vision to carry him into the complex. He was so embarrassed that he didn't come out of the lab for three days straight!"

Steve covered his mouth with his hand as his shoulders shook. "That was the most wicked prank I ever witnessed."

"More like disgusting," Wanda said, her face full of disapproval.

Suddenly, a voice shouted in the hallway. "Steve!"

The laughing stopped instantly and Steve gave Bucky and Wanda a smile and a wave. "The lady beckons. You two have a good night." Then he practically ran down the hallway and back into the room he shared with Natasha.

"That man is so whipped," Bucky tittered as they watched Steve go.

Wanda grabbed her boyfriend's arm and shook him to get his attention. "Why did you bring up the time when Tony ate Natasha's Cheez-Its?"

"Because her payback was funny?" He gave her a curious look, wondering why she seemed so concerned over this. "Relax, doll. It's only a box of cookies. Natasha can get some more."

"Bucky, do you recall how violent Natasha can get when someone touches her food? For goodness' sake, you may have given Steve the idea that Tony ate her cookies! And if he decides to tell he that he suspects Tony, she could _kill_ him!"

The humor in Bucky's eyes disappeared and he gave Wanda a deep, searching look. "But Tony didn't eat them."

"How do you know that?"

"Because of the word 'guilty' that's written all over your face. We've known each other too long for you to use a successful poker face on me. You know who ate Natasha's cookies, don't you?"

Wanda scoffed and tried to back away from Bucky, but his grip on her wrist was solid. "Of course not!"

The man backed her until she bumped into the kitchen island and he slid his cool metal fingers up her sleep shirt, inching near her womanhood. "I can make you tell me," came Bucky's seductive whisper.

Shivers ran down Wanda's spine and she licked her lips. "You can try."

Bucky pushed her panties aside and pushed his forefinger into her core. Almost instantly, her walls clamped down around his metal finger and she squealed from the feeling of the hard, cool digit flicking inside of her. "A-ah. Bucky...are you crazy? We're in the kitchen..."

"So?" He grinned at her and took his human hand and cupped her breast through the thin fabric of her sleep shirt, pinching the hard nub of her nipple.

Wanda threaded her fingers through his hair and threw her head back, unable to contain the little mewls that came from her throat. "Th-this is where we eat breakfast. Someone could come in.."

"I know. It's pretty kinky." Bucky's response was calm and casual, as if they were talking about the weather while he fucked her with his finger.

The young woman gasped and thrusted against her lover's metal hand, wanting more penetration. "Damn you, Bucky." She moaned again and pressed her lips against his urgently, letting her tongue do battle with his own.

"Ha, you love it, doll."

This continued for a while until Wanda pulled away and groped at Bucky's pants. "I don't even care anymore. I need you inside of me. Now."

"I knew you couldn't resist." Quickly, he tugged his pajama pants along with his boxers. He squeezed Wanda's breast once more before turning her around and lifting her sleep shirt, revealing her attractive backside, which he couldn't help but admire.

Wanda clenched her fingers and gripped the edge of the kitchen island. "Hurry. I'm not going to last long. We can do more foreplay later."

"Fine," Bucky growled and slapped the right cheek of Wanda's ass. She squealed again, then cooed, shimmying her rump towards him in a very enticing fashion.

That was all the invitation Bucky needed and less than a second later, he was inside of her. Bucky felt how wet she already was, so he didn't waste any time thrusting into her walls as she squeezed his rock hard shaft.

"Unh, Bucky! Harder!"

"Fuck, doll. You're so tight," Bucky moaned and complied with her wishes, hands going to her thighs, lifting her up and pulling her closer to him.

Wanda gave as good as she got, pushing her hips to join Bucky's so he wasn't doing all of the work. She was driving him crazy and he knew he would orgasm soon. Her petals were grabbing him so hard and refusing to release him easily. The best way to describe such a sensation would be to say that she was essentially milking his cock. And, _damn_ , did it feel amazing.

It didn't take long for Wanda to hit her climax and Bucky came right after her. He kissed her right on time, so when she cried out, the sound was muffled and no one heard them.

Moments passed as they both panted, wairing for their energy to come back. Bucky pulled his penis out of Wanda's womanhood and put his boxers back on. Wanda giggled and followed suit, pulling her panties up. "That was phenomenal, Bucky..."

A proud, lazy smile spread across Bucky's face. "Yeah? You were pretty great, yourself."

"Mm." Wanda put her arms around him and gave him a gentle kiss. "But I'm still not telling you who ate those cookies!" Then she turned and ran in the direction of their room.

"Hey! I'm gonna get you for that, Wanda Maximoff!" The super soldier gave chase after his girlfriend and caught her just as she reached their bedroom.

When they were inside, he closed the door and locked it.

Minutes later, more moaning sounds were heard from the couple and this time, **everyone** heard them.

 


	3. Candlesticks and Home Fires

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Drama rears its ugly head amongst the Avengers._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this fic is supposed to be a crack with parodies of the Avengers, but as it happened, this chapter became more serious and angsty towards the end. I apologize if it comes out of left field, but I did my best to make it a bit genuine, pertaining to Steve and Nat's true character. If I failed to do so, feel free to rant about it in the comments.

* * *

 

 

"Thanks for giving me a good morning start, Bucky. You know, there's nothing I love more than the sound of a good fuck from next door. I really didn't need to wake up to that shit."

Maria snorted in her coffee and covered her mouth, trying to hold back her laughter. When she got a handle on her coughing, she said, "I'm sorry, what?"

Bucky rolled his eyes at Sam and poured himself a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios. It was a good thing his girlfriend was in the living room and chose not to respond to that. "Wanda and I were a little loud this morning."

"A little?!" Coffee dribbled out of Sam's mouth. "You were so loud, I could hear your breathing patterns! Who the hell has sex at three o'clock in the morning?"

Maria cleared her throat and patted Sam's hand. "Ah, we do. And three times, to be exact."

"...oh. I guess I forgot."

"You did? Well, maybe I'll just spend the night here so we can get payback on Wanda and Bucky, then." Maria smirked and pulled Sam to her, kissing him hard, running her hands over his back and groping his behind.

"Dammit, I'm trying to eat, here! If the two of you want to fuck, could you go somewhere else with that?" Bucky grumbled at the couple and shoveled a spoonful of Cheerios in his mouth.

After kissing for a long period of time, Maria gave Bucky a glance and grinned mischievously at him. "You know you like to watch."

"You wish," the super soldier replied as he picked up his bowl of cereal and trudged off to the living room.

As Bucky left, Natasha came into the kitchen. There was a agitated scowl on her face which alerted Maria to the knowledge that something was very wrong. "Lemme guess. Someone ate your Lorna Doone's?"

Natasha's head snapped in Maria's direction and squinted her eyes at her. "And how do you know about that?"

"Sam told me about what happened earlier. You know, you should probably ask Peter if he ate them."

"Peter? You think _Peter Parker_ ate my cookies?"

"Personally, I don't think anyone but Steve should touch your cookies, red," came a voice from the hall.

Natasha rolled her eyes as Tony appeared and grinned at the group.

"Shut up, Tony," Maria said with exasperation in her tone.

"Oh, that's too difficult for him, Mar. The only way to keep his mouth closed is to put Mjolnyr on his lips when he's asleep."

Tony frowned at that. "Not funny, Sam. It's a good thing that Vision happened to be coming to the gym to practice, or I would have been stuck there for hours. Do you know how hard it is holding back pee when you have Mjolnyr lying on your face?"

"No, but I'm sure it was hilarious to my Instagram followers. Last time I checked, that picture had over two million likes and four hundred thousand comments."

Even Natasha had to smirk at that, but Tony was in shock, his mouth hanging open. It wasn't too often that he was surprised by anything, but with Sam and Bucky on the team, he'd begun to discover that he had two matches in mischievous behavior.

"You're an asshole, Sam."

"Love you, too, Iron head."

Tony ignored Sam and opened the fridge and pulled out a plastic container of raspberries, blueberries, strawberries and blackberries. He tossed a handful in his mouth and grimaced, struggling to swallow the fruit. "Ugh. Who the hell put fucking blueberries in my fucking berry mix?"

Sam took off and ran down the hall with Tony chasing him soon after. "You're dead, Sam!" Came his strangely girlish scream as their footsteps stamped out of the room.

Natasha hummed to herself for a moment. "So you think Peter ate them? My cookies?"

Before Maria could respond, a voice said, "I would never do that to her." Peter showed up in the kitchen wearing a shirt that said _'Black Widow is the world's best adopted mother'_.

Natasha stared at the shirt for a few seconds, disturbed that he was wearing it. "Did you have that made?"

"Yeah. Do you like it?"

The redhead rolled her eyes. "Pff, it's hideous. I love it. Oh, Peter. Would you like to do a little investigating for me?"

"You want me to find out who ate your Lorna Doone's?"

"I always said you were a bright kid."

Peter rolled back and forth on his heels, like an excited puppy. "What do I do when I find the culprit?"

"Kill them," Natasha deadpanned.

Peter's eyes widened and he started to look a little scared. "...um, couldn't I just force them to play Bop It with me or something?"

"Sure! Bop It is fine, but just make sure to bring them to me when you're finished playing."

"Yes, ma'am! Don't worry! Friendly neighborhood Spider-Man is on the case!" Peter picked up his toaster strudel and ran off, yelling in excitement.

"I really love that kid," Natasha said, smiling as she watched him go.

The adoration in the redhead's eyes made Maria smile. She had never seen her friend so happy around any kids - well, Peter was a teenager now, but in her eyes, he was **still** a kid. It was also really cute to watch him embrace his role as an Avenger, but a bit freaky, since he was pretty young.

After a long silence, Maria spoke up. "You know, sometimes I think it's weird that you're Peter's legal guardian now." She munched on her peaches and Wheaties thoughtfully.

"What's so weird about that? Don't you think I make a good mother?" Natasha pouted at Maria.

"No. I think you make a great mother. It's just...well, I think about you and Steve and how you're both so close like a married couple and if you **get** married, you both will end up being his parents. That means Steve would essentially be adopting him, too."

The blood drained from Natasha's face and she chuckled nervously. " _Married?_ Wh-what ever gave you that idea?"

"Well, the two of you have been dating for three years now and everyone knows how serious things have been between you. I just figured that marriage would be another step down the road."

Natasha's palms began to sweat and she rubbed them on her pants. "Um, no. We haven't talked about that. I've definitely thought about it, but settling down is just not me. I mean, he and I are too different to be together like that."

Maria opened her mouth to respond, but her eyes widened when she saw who was behind Natasha and she lowered her gaze down to her bowl.

Uh oh. The conversation that the two women had been having took all of Natasha's attention from her surroundings, and as a result, she hadn't noticed the footsteps that came from behind her and in the direction of the hall. Natasha closed her eyes for a second and slowly turned around.

As she suspected, Steve stood behind her, his eyes full of hurt. "If that's what you really think, Nat, then what the hell have we been doing for the last three years?"

"Steve, I-"

"Was this just a game for you? Because it wasn't for me. Being married to you was always what I planned for us. I knew it would take a while for you to get to that point. That's why I never brought it up and bided my time, but if this is how you feel..." Steve let out a breath and lowered his head. "Just forget it." He turned to walk away.

Natasha reached out to grab his sleeve. "Steve, wait. Please."

"You don't have to explain. I thought that maybe my love for you was enough, but I guess it isn't." Steve touched her cheek, stroking the soft skin. Then, he whispered, "I just wish you would have said something sooner," and he left, trudging off down the hallway, his shoulders hunched in defeat.

Natasha felt tears splash onto her cheek and her chin trembled as she watched Steve walk away. What had she just done?

 

 


	4. Assessing the Possibilities

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Peter gives Natasha a heads up on his list of cookie culprits._

 

"Hey, come on!" Peter shook his adopted mother, trying to wake her up from her nap.

Natasha grumbled something under her breath and blinked a few times, looking up at her son. "What is it?"

"We've got shit to avenge, so get your ass up," came a snarky reply from Clint as he tossed her Black Widow outfit on the bed. "This time, it's your home country."

She slowly sat up, letting her red locks fall in her face. "Russia."

Peter watched her closely. "Yeah. Some morons are trying to restart a HYDRA base in Vladivostok. Steve said if you want to sit this one out, you can. He knows how hard it is for you, going back there after...after everything."

A twinge of happiness hit Natasha in the stomach and she felt relieved that Steve was still looking out for her, despite what happened between them earlier. It wasn't really a surprise because he never let interpersonal issues conflict the safety and well being of the team. That's what made him such a good leader.

"Ah, no. I'm fine. I can handle it."

Clint nodded. "Alright. Wheels up in thirty." Then he left.

Natasha turned her gaze to Peter, who had a look of worriment in his eyes. _God_ , the boy really needed to work on his poker face. She chuckled and patted his hand to reassure him. "Stop looking at me like that, Pete. I said I was fine and I meant it."

"Okay. If you're sure..."

"Of course, I'm sure. Now get outta here so I can change." She nudged him playfully.

"Alright." He started to leave, but turned around, remembering what he needed to tell her. "Oh! Um, so I've been kinda dropping hints about your Lorna Doone's and making bets with Bucky about who could have eaten them."

"...you've been making bets?" She raised her eyebrow at him.

"Hey, it's investigative work and I've narrowed the list down to four people."

"Really? Tell me who you've got." Natasha got up and took her catsuit with her to the closet so she could change.

Peter sat cross-legged on the bed. "Wanda, Clint, Vision and Tony."

"Bucky's not on your list?"

"Nah. He hates shortbread, remember? His go-to sugar craving is Honey Nut Cheerios."

Natasha laughed and shimmied out of her skirt. "Cereal. Ha. That's definitely Bucky for you. But why is Vision on your list? He doesn't eat sweets."

"True, and he's the least likely culprit on my list, but he is still learning about humanity. For all I know, he could be playing a joke on you as research or something. Wanda's been teaching him some things and they've been kind of secretive about it."

"That's odd, but I guess anything's possible." Honestly, Natasha wasn't concerned with her stolen cookies at he moment. She just wanted to talk to Steve, but for the sake of helping Peter feel useful, she let him continue.

"Since I already brought her up, it could be Wanda. She's got a playful streak and maybe she just wanted to push your buttons out of boredom. She could have taken your cookies with her weird mind-bending powers. Or she could've accidentally sent them to another dimension."

Natasha stifled a laugh and snickered into her palm. "Another dimension."

Peter's cheeks turned red and he crossed his arms defensively. "Hey, I'm not leaving any conclusions out. That's the smart thing to do."

"Well, that does make sense. Although, it's still hard to wrap my brain around. Go on."

"Clint because he's your best friend and he knows you better than anyone...er, almost anyone. He knows that you'd forgive him, albeit begrudgingly, for eating your cookies and he'd replace them later."

"Yeah, that sums Clint up to a t."

"Then there's Tony. He has a habit of eating everyone's snacks and being all holier-than-thou about it because he likes to be an ass."

Natasha came out of her closet and closed the door, smirking. "Are you quoting me?"

Peter grinned cheekily. "Yeah. Is that alright?"

"Are you kidding? You're too cute." She went over to him and kissed his forehead softly. "Thank you for being my little investigator arachnid. It's sweet."

"No, problem. I have to spend more time with each of them before I can get any specific hints or clues about how and why any of them would steal your cookies. Fortunately, I have a talent for getting people to become chatterboxes, so I believe that I'll have more results tomorrow."

His confidence was refreshing and Natasha couldn't help the feeling of pride that ran through her as her adopted son gave her a happy smile. "I have every confidence in your abilities, Peter."

"And so do I," said a voice that came from behind them, near the door.

Natasha knew that voice anywhere and she swallowed nervously, then turned to face him. Steve stood at the threshold of their bedroom, donned in his Captain America gear sans mask.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm terrible at making cliffhangers. :P


	5. Heart to Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Steve and Natasha talk about their longings, fears and settle the misunderstanding Steve had gotten from overhearing Natasha's talk with Maria._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is bit long due to the disgustingly mushy content, but I am so proud of how it turned out. Oh, by the way, thank you all so much for the feedback you've been giving this story. You make me smile each time I see your comments.❤️

* * *

  
 

Natasha's heart began slamming against her chest and she let out a halted breath as she tried to act normal. It was so silly, but every time she saw Steve in his gear, ready to go out and fight as an Avenger, it made her feel so blessed to be his partner.

Inwardly, she thanked her lucky stars that he came looking for her instead of the other way around. It wasn't easy being vulnerable with someone you loved, especially after you've hurt them unintentionally.

Peter looked from Steve to Natasha and made his way towards the door. "I'll give you two a minute," he said, and closed the door quietly.

For a long, quiet moment, they just stared at each other, neither one choosing to make the first move. God, they could be impossibly stubborn. Big enough to realise that they needed to reconcile, but both so afraid to be the first one to speak up.

Natasha resisted the urge to run her hands through her hair in frustration. They were losing precious time. In less than twenty minutes, they'd have to be on the quinjet, flying to Russia to fight more Hydra scum. They didn't have time to pussyfoot around.

"Steve, listen...about what you heard earlier. That wasn't what you thought it was. When Maria started talking about marriage, she surprised me and I was caught off guard by what she said. You have to understand."

There was no anger in his eyes or in his voice, only a weariness, as if he'd been thinking about what he overheard and felt drained from the many reasons why she said what she did. "Then explain it to me."

"See, you came in on the back end of our conversation and I get why, in your perspective, what I told Maria sounded really bad." The intensity of Steve's blue eyes made it hard for Natasha to focus and she looked away.

"I...never knew that you wanted to marry me. I mean, I had a feeling that you'd thought about it from time to time. We've been together for a while now, so that's only natural. I found myself thinking about it too, being married, having your children." Her voice broke faltered after saying 'children'.

Now, Steve knew what Natasha's next words were going to be about. Children were always a sore spot for her because she couldn't have any. So he chose to never bring it up, but maybe he had made an error with that decision. He inched closer to her as she continued to talk in a hushed tone.

"I know that you want a family more than anything, but I can't give you that, no matter how much I want to. You could have kids if you wanted, but me? I can't. That choice was stolen from me by the Red Room and I can't change that."

Tears began to spill down her cheeks as she went on. "You don't know how many times I've laid in bed, wondering what it would be like to have your baby, to know what motherhood feels like. I know that having a child isn't the be all end all of a woman's life, but I can't help thinking about it."

Natasha was crying so much that it was hard for her to see, but Steve came forward and wiped her tears away with his calloused thumb. "Nat, stop. Do you really think I care about that?"

She sniffled and looked at him with trembling lips. She remembered how he'd smiled down at the little boys and girls who asked him for his autograph, the way his eyes softened when he'd see a young couple with a baby in tow. Steve had been a natural with kids, so Natasha assumed that he'd want to be a father someday.

"You don't?"

"Well, sometimes, I do. Every man does, but just because you can't have a child, doesn't make you less important to me. I'd love you whether or not you could carry our child. I love you for who you are, not for what you can do or what you can have." Steve put his hand on her shoulder and kissed her forehead lovingly.

"I've got you, Peter and the Avengers. That's more than enough for me. Being with all of you makes me happy, **you** make me happy. Nat, you're my better half and without you, I'd be lost at sea. If you ever have any concerns about us, please come to me with them." He chuckled. "For a while, I thought you were saying that you didn't want this to be a serious thing."

Oh, yes. Natasha could hear his voice as he said, "What the hell have we been doing for the last three years?"

"It's not that!" She gripped his hand in hers. "I _do_ want to marry you, Steve...someday in the future, but I'm just afraid of it. Marriage is a big step. What we have is good and I like it, but I can't help wondering how wonderful it would be to wake up next to you with your ring on my finger, knowing that we're bound for each other. It's beautiful, but it's scary!"

Natasha felt ridiculous for saying this, but it was time to get all of her worries off her chest. Years ago, she and Steve made a promise not to keep secrets from each other. Yeah, it was a hard concept for her at first, but she got used to it as time went by.

 _Communication is the key in a relationship, Nat,_ Clint had told her when she informed him of her choice to be Steve's girlfriend. _It's a two-way street. If you hold something back from him or vice versa, it'll be a problem later on. Trust me. I've been married for over ten years, so I have a lot of experience with this kind of thing._

Steve laughed heartily, not expecting to hear that, but she did have a point. Marriage was definitely not something you enter into lightly. It was scary and amazing all at once because it was essentially binding yourself to your spouse, spiritually, mentally, physically and emotionally.

"I have to agree with you on that, but it'd be worth a try. Marriage isn't for everyone because some people just aren't mature enough to handle it. You and I are a different story, though." He grazed her cheek with his palm. "I think I could get used to calling you Mrs. Rogers."

"And I'd love being able to call you my hubby," Natasha replied with a sassy smile on her lips.

"That'd be nice to hear." Steve's eyes took on a serious look and he squeezed her hand. "Nat, I'm sorry about how I reacted. I shouldn't have assumed something so badly about you. I guess I was scared, too. Sometimes, I think if I don't hold on to you as tightly as I can, I'll lose you like I did Peggy."

Hearing that made Natasha's heart lurch and she took his face in her hands so he wasn't able to look away from her. "Baby, you will never lose me. Okay? There's no way in hell that I plan on going anywhere and I'm not going to leave you either. I love you."

A happy breath expelled from Steve's mouth and he held his forehead to Natasha's. Her words were like medicine to the wounds his fears had created and the pain was gone. "I love you," he whispered back and lowered his head to capture her soft lips in a passionate kiss.

 

 


	6. Revelation About The Cookie Theft

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _After defeating the Hydra agents, Natasha tries to get Steve to help her figure out who stole her cookies._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is pretty much just filler with Steve and Nat being all sassy and hot.

* * *

 

 

"So who do you think it was?"

"What?"

"The person who stole my cookies! Who do you think did it?"

"Nat, you really know how to pick the _wrong_ time to start conversations!" Steve grunted and did a flip-toss, sending his shield to Natasha while he gave a good roundhouse to the man on his left.

"You're talking to the _queen_ of multitasking." Natasha caught her boyfriend's shield effortlessly and dodged a punch from her assailant before he landed a fist in her face. She spun to his side and slammed the shield into the Hydra agent's calf, causing him to fall to his knees. Then, she jabbed her elbow into his skull, knocking him out.

The redhead huffed for a few moments to calm her pounding heartbeat. She and Steve had taken out a considerable number of Hydra agents by themselves. After all, they were, arguably, the best pair of Avengers who worked together, flawlessly.

After tying the men up and making sure their bonds were tight and unbreakable, Natasha walked towards Steve near the entrance of the room they were currently in. "So...do you have any ideas?" She handed him his shield and he took it back with an amused grin on his face.

"I thought you already had Peter on the case."

"That's true, but I could always use extra help. Besides, with that clever strategic mind of yours, I bet this whole 'investigation' would be settled and done with in the blink of an eye."

"You know, you're right, but I think I'll pass."

She frowned. Was he really going to turn her down? "Are you kidding?"

"No. Nat, you have plenty of help from Pete. I'm sure he'll have the criminal figured out and waiting to tell you who it is when we get back to the tower."

She continued as if she hadn't heard him. "I can't believe after the drama you put me through earlier, you're going to turn me down."

Steve grabbed her by the waist and pushed her against a wall. "You don't have to bring that down on my head again, alright?"

The grip of his hand on her body made Natasha think he wanted to have sex, even though this was the wrong place for it. Damn her hormones! "Don't hold me back unless you intend to do something, Rogers," came her sassy reply.

A lustful look appeared on his face and turned off his comm and hers as well. "Like what? Like this?" He brushed his knee to her upper thigh, pushing her leg away from the other.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"Exacting my pound of flesh. What does it look like?" His strong hand reached down to slide along the inside the leg of her catsuit and squeeze the flesh ever so softly.

Natasha moaned and bit her lip, looking around nervously. They were in one of Hydra's base of operations, an old concrete building with five stories, but that still didn't mean they were safe. "Steve, what the hell? The others could find us in a minute!"

"Why so nervous, Nat? I thought you liked living on the edge of danger." Steve ignored her admonishments and continued to touch her and stroke her thigh.

"You're a little shit, Steve."

"But I'm your little shit. There's a difference." Steve nuzzled her neck with his nose, which caused her to whimper softly. He smirked and squeezed her thigh once more, but before he could do anything else, the familiar sound of Tony's suit came around the corner.

Quickly, Steve and Natasha jumped away from each other and tried their best to look natural. Although, they just knew that Tony was smirking inside of that helmet.

"Hawkeye, Falcon and I have taken care of the other Hydra agents downstairs. You both good up here?"

"Yes," they both said in unison.

"Alright. We've already contacted the authorities, so I'll head to the quinjet." Tony nodded and turned to go, but he stopped and looked back at them. "Oh, and you both might want to consider turning off your comms before you start talking dirty to each other." Which that, he left.

Both Steve and Natasha were quiet, feeling that creeping sense of embarrassment overtake them. "I hate you, Tony," Natasha said before begrudgingly turning off her comm.

"It's a little too late for that, you know. They already heard us." Steve followed suit and turned his comm off too, then he slapped her behind and she squealed, jumping in surprise.

"That hurt!"

"It was meant to. That's payback for teasing me on a mission." The no-nonsense tone crept back into his voice and he said, "You really haven't figured out who stole your cookies?"

Natasha rubbed her backside and frowned. "No. I'm at a loss and I need your help."

"Well-" a chime cut off Steve's reply and he frowned, pulling his beeper out of his back pocket.

"You brought a beeper on a mission?" Mocking disapproval dripped all over Natasha's tone. God, he could really be old fashioned sometimes.

"Yes. I know I said I don't want us carrying cell phones on missions, but a beeper is an acceptable option."

"Sure. If you're living in the eighties."

Steve rolled his eyes at her and smiled when he saw the message. "Looks like Pete finally figured out who stole your Lorna Doone's."

Natasha's eyes widened in disbelief. "He did? Who was it?"

"Scott."

" _..Scott?_ Why the hell would he steal my cookies? He's no-oh, wait. I think I know why."

"You do?"

"Yes, but I'll know for sure when we get back to the quinjet."

"Okay, let's go, then."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally have a good idea of how to end this fic!   
> -celebratory booty shake-


	7. Back At The Tower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Peter is about to discover the mystery behind who stole Natasha's Lorna Doone's and why._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I just ate some snickerdoodle cookies from Dollar General that cost - you guessed it - one dollar. They taste so good, though, and sooo much better than chocolate chip cookies. Dead serious.

* * *

 

 

  
**Six hours earlier**

 

Peter hummed to himself as he walked down one of the many corridors of the Avengers tower. So far he'd narrowed his list of possible cookie thieves to Wanda and Clint. On his second observations, Peter realized that Vision couldn't have stolen Natasha's cookies because he was too innocent.

The young webslinger knew that Clint and Wanda were close like Peter and Natasha were and they were sometimes fond of playing tricks on her as a father/daughter team, but they only did so on special times every year, but Peter couldn't remember why.

"I know I'm missing something. Ugh, I'm so close that I can smell it! What would be a good reason for stealing Natasha's cookies?"

Peter sighed and walked into the kitchen and sat on a stool in annoyance. He was very good at this investigating thing, but it was frustrating when you feel like you almost have something right, save for it being just out of reach of your hands.

He tapped his chin and the countertop, frowning when he felt something under his fingers. "What's this? A grocery list?" The boy picked up the piece of paper and read the items that were listed on the white sheet. He was a fast reader, so it didn't take him long before he finally got to item number ten.

_Get more Lorna Doone's before Nat kills you_

Wait, what? Someone in the tower had written this? Peter swiveled his head from side to side, curious if his spider senses were going to go off. He expected one of the team members to jump up, run over and snatch the paper from him, but nothing happened.

"Find something interesting," said a feminine voice in his ear and Peter nearly jumped onto the ceiling in fright.

Once he got his breathing under control, he turned to look at Wanda, backing up a few steps. No wonder he hadn't sensed anything. She was one of the very few people who he actually couldn't get a read on. The mind bending and almost magical powers she possessed had put Peter off at first and he was unsure of how he felt whenever she was around.

Of course she'd never hurt him, but she was kind of scary and he wasn't scared of many people - then again, he was an Avenger, so nothing much should scare him. Wanda was the wild card, though, because he never knew what she was up to. "Uh, no. Not at all." He grinned and crumbled the piece of paper in his hand.

"You know...Natasha may be your mother, but you haven't adopted her good skill at lying." The brunette raised an eyebrow at him.

Peter hesitated for a moment, not sure what Wanda was playing at, but he was certain that he'd get the answers he was looking for if he just went along with whatever was going on. He placed the piece of paper in Wanda's already outstretched hand. "Why are you buying more Lorna Doone's? Were they eaten?"

"Yes, but not by me."

"Well...who then?"

"Scott. He was doing an experiment and he got a little hungry."

"What kind of experiment?"

Wanda's lips curved into a smile and she picked up the paper, stuffing it in the pocket of her jeans. Then she looped her arm through Peter's and motioned for him to start walking. "Let's just go down to the lab so Scott can explain."

 

 

* * *

 

 

Once they were in the lab, Wanda walked over to the long metal counter in the center of the room and stared down at it, as if she were looking for someone. "Scott. Where are you? Don't worry. The coast is clear. You can enlarge yourself now."

A few seconds later, Scott grew back to his normal size again and he took of his Ant Man helmet. "Um, the coast is definitely not clear. Pete's in the room."

"No, don't worry, Scott. I won't tell mom what's going on here. I just want want to know why her cookies were stolen."

"Oh, well. If that's all..." Scott scratched his head and chuckled ruefully. "Well, Tony and I had been working on my suit until very late, giving it some alterations and what-not. We'd been up for a while and Tony called it a night, but I was a little hungry. So I went to the kitchen to find a snack when I saw Lorna Doone's on the counter."

"And you took them even though you knew who they belonged to?" Peter almost sounded like Steve as he crossed his arms and gave Scott a disparaging look.

"Hey, it's not like I did it on purpose to piss her off or anything. I know better than to mess with Natasha's snacks and normally, I would never touch them, but that day had been a long one. I only had two burritos and that was at noon, so yeah. I was hungry and tired and I was't thinking when I ate the cookies."

Peter shook his head. Adults. They really had their moments. "Okay, okay. I got it. But why did Wanda bring me down here for this experiment you and Tony are doing? What are you guys trying to keep secret?"

Wanda and Scott just looked at each other and Wanda spoke. "Well, Tony isn't here at the moment, but I'm sure he wouldn't mind if we showed you..." She then gave Scott a nod.

In response, Scott picked up a large sheet and spread it on the metal counter, then he placed a single Lorna Doone's cookie on the sheet. He took out one of the circular metal disks with the blue center and tossed it at the cookie. 

And suddenly, the tiny piece of shortbread was no longer small, but now, as large as a cake. Peter's eyes widened in surprise and he stared at the enlarged cookie. "No way. How did you do that?"

"We'll tell you while we're out shopping," said a voice behind them and Scott, Wanda and Peter turned to see Bucky walk into the room with a smirk on his face. 

"Oh. Shopping for the items on the list that I found?"

"Eh, those among a few other things. We've got a big surprise for Natasha in store and everyone is a part of it."

"But how did all of you manage to keep a big secret like this from her?"

"Steve was a big help to us with that," Wanda replied. "He's been keeping her so focused on their relationship so she hasn't had the time to notice anything we've been doing. We had a few close calls, though."

Peter opened his mouth to ask what Wanda meant by that, but Bucky put his arm around the boy's shoulder and patted his back. "Kid, it's pointless to ask questions. Just come with us on our little shopping spree and all will be revealed on the way."

"...I can do that." 

"Good. Let's go."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just in case any of you were wondering what was on the grocery list, here it is:
> 
> Four bottles of Presto spaghetti sauce  
> Bacon bits - the real stuff, not that nasty fake flavored stuff  
> Yeast rolls  
> One big ass jar of Nutella  
> Code Geass  
> Eight Tijuana Mama Sausages  
> Paprika - not that dried shit  
> Chobani - three cherry, four pineapple, six strawberry  
> Six mini packs of Slim Jim's  
> Get more Lorna Doone's before Nat kills you  
> Five boxes of Hot Fudge Sundae Poptarts  
> Shea Butter lotion


	8. Bonding Time and Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Bucky, Wanda and Peter go on a trip to purchase the items needed for Natasha's surprise birthday party. Things get surprisingly emotional._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is excessively long due to cuteness and domestic Avengers mush. I can't believe that this story has jumped genres so quickly. I mean, it started off as a parody and now it's a fluffy romantic drama. I don't even know how that happened, but I hope you guys enjoy it. :D
> 
> Also, Natasha's birthday has been changed for the plot of this fic.

* * *

 

  
"So...how exactly did you find out about mom's birthday? I thought she never told anyone."

Wanda looked at Peter and chuckled. "She didn't. Not even Clint knew and it took her **two** years just to tell him how old she was."

"I guess that makes sense. She does have her secrets, but still. Why did she keep that from Steve?"

"Come on, Pete. If your birthday was on April Fools, you wouldn't go around saying it to people, would you?"

The young Avenger cringed. "No."

"And why wouldn't you?"

"Because everyone would prank me."

"Exactly. Your mom's a smart woman. Always has been. Clint likes to tease her and joke with her, but, she also lives in a tower with Scott, Sam, Bucky and Tony. They'd drive her crazy if they knew."

Bucky began to place bottles of pasta marinate in the cart. "But you wanted to know how we found out about her birthday. Well, Nat has a habit of talking in her sleep. Steve heard her have a lengthy conversation with whoever she was dreaming about - probably him - and kept saying that April Fools was the worst birthday anyone could have."

Wanda chimed in. "This only happened a few weeks ago, so we've had plenty of time to prepare. The plan was to get Natasha out of the tower for several hours today, so we could set the party up and surprise her when she got back."

Now it was making more sense. Peter nodded and thought about the mission that his mother and a few other Avengers had gone on. "The mission in Russia was a way to keep her away long enough for you to deck the place out."

"Exactly!" Wanda turned to Bucky and poked him on the side. "I told you that we should have let him know the start."

"Yeah, I guess so. No hard feelings, Pete. We _would_ have told you, but seeing as how you're Nat's son and everything..."

The boy waved his hand to dismiss the apology. "No harm done. You were smart to keep this from me. After all, everyone knows that it's hard to lie to mom and get away with it. She can see through a lot of bs. It's pretty lucky for you that she _didn't_ figure it out."

Wanda grinned at that. Natasha was usually adept at seeing through deceit, but as they expected, Steve had kept her on a romantic high for the last two weeks, and they were able to use that to their advantage. "Oh, yes. Lucky indeed."

Bucky looked down at his watch. "Okay, they'll probably be back in eight hours or so. That gives us plenty of time to make the food."

Peter's eyes lit up at the mention of food. "So we're not going to just have snacks for the party?"

"Of course we're going to have snacks. We're not savages, but we're also going to have food, too. Natasha loves enchiladas, so we're making that and a few other things."

"Oh, she'll love that. I can't remember the last time she had homemade enchiladas, but Vision shouldn't help with that."

" _Way_ ahead of you. We all know how bad he is at cooking."

"Yes, I remember a few years ago, how he tried to cook paprikash to make me feel better. While the gesture was sweet...the taste was unfavorable." Wanda wrinkled her nose as the memory came back to her.

"Poor Vision," said Peter, a rueful grin on his face. "He really can't cook to save his life. But he's really good at desserts! Remember the cherry tarts he made for Mr. Stark's birthday? Those were really good."

Bucky thought for a moment. "You know, I forgot about that. Hey, maybe he can help you make the cake, Wanda."

"That sounds like a plan to me. He'd probably have a good time doing it, too." Wanda grabbed a bottle of bacon bits and put it in the cart, giving Bucky a stern glare. "This time, I'm expecting you **not** to eat these before I make the salad. Understood?"

"I make no promises."

Wanda raised an eyebrow at Bucky's and playfully nudged him, whispering in his ear. _< "Vy narushitel' spokoystviya."> _You are a troublemaker.

The solder just looked at her, raking his eyes down her body and replied in a seductive tone. _< "Da, no vy lyubite yego, kukla.">_ Yeah, but you love it, doll.

Peter eyed the two lovers warily, feeling a bit like a third wheel cockblock. "Ah, just to remind you guys, we're in public and I'm a child."

"Tsk, you had to spoil the mood." Wanda stuck her tongue out at Peter and held up the grocery list again. "Okay, so all we need is my shea butter lotion and Thor's Poptarts."

"I have never understood Thor's obsession with Poptarts. It's kind of weird." They turned down the cereal aisle and began searching for the Poptarts.

"The Poptarts obsession is nothing. You should have seen how Bucky was when he first came out of cryo. The one thing he wanted more than anything in the world was cereal bars." Wanda made a gagging sound rolled her eyes up in her head.

"Cereal bars are amazing," Bucky said with a pout. "You're just too picky about trying new things."

"And you're like a human trash can when it comes to food. Like those disgusting deep fried banana twinkies you bought from the store the other day."

"Hey! Those were really good. Don't hate them if you haven't even tried them."

"Are you kidding? Just the fact that you _like_ twinkies is embarrassing enough."

"What's wrong with twinkies?"

"More like what _isn't_ wrong with them? They're not really dairy products; there's no milk or anything in them. Just fake white stuffing and who knows what else. I don't understand how you can put those things in your mouth."

Bucky waggled his eyebrows. "Well, I can think of other things I'd like to-"

Peter yelped and put his fingers in his ears. "Okay, no thanks! Lalalalala! Please, stop!"

"Oh, Pete. You're such an innocent baby," cooed Wanda and she pinched his cheeks.

"No, I'm not!" Came his indignant reply. "You guys are my friends...well, Wanda is my friend, Bucky, you're more like a weird uncle or something. I know you guys are dating and you do...certain couple related things, but I already hear that kind of talk from mom and da-uh, Steve. So it's just really weird."

Wanda and Bucky noticed Peter's near slip of the tongue when he almost called Steve his dad. "Pete, do you think of Steve as a father?"

"...yeah." The teen ducked his head and blushed. "I mean, even before he started dating mom, he always treated me like I was special to him. When mom adopted me, it was the best day of my life, but when Steve started dating her, I actually began to feel like we were a family. I still do, more so, even. I just don't know if he thinks that about me..."

There were tears in Wanda's eyes and she took Peter's hands in hers. "Pete, that is wonderful and believe me when I say that Steve feels the same way. I've seen the proud look in his eyes when he sees you with Natasha, whether you're just being silly or having a serious talk. I've also heard the usually quiet whispers in his mind that come to the surface when he's around you. He **loves** you."

Bucky came beside them and placed a kind hand on Peter's shoulder. "Yeah, kid. You haven't heard the things that comes out of his mouth about you. He thinks of you like you're his own flesh and blood and he damn near brags about you than Tony. I see the pride in his eyes when he looks at you. You may not be his biological son, but he sure treats you like you are."

Peter wiped his eyes and laughed happily, pulling Wanda and Bucky in for a hug. "Thanks."

"Anytime," said Bucky and he rubbed Peter's back comfortingly. "And you know what? You should tell Steve what you just told us. I think you guys are due a bonding moment, especially after what's going to happen ton-"

Wanda smacked Bucky's backside and shushed him. "Uh-uh! Let him find out on his own!"

"Right." Bucky cleared his throat and pointed to the shelf. "So, Poptarts. _There_ they are!" He picked five boxes and dumped them in the shopping cart while Peter just stared at him and Wanda.

Evidently, something else was set to take place at the party and it was so important that it needed to be kept a secret from Peter. Well, he could live with that. He had a feeling that this night was going to one to remember.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Deep fried banana twinkies are real, guys. They're in the frozen section of my local grocery store. :P


	9. Keep The Home Fires Burning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _The Avengers prepare for Natasha's birthday celebration._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that it's been so long since I updated, guys! _Torched_ and  
>  _The Soldier Meets The Spy_ have been taking up a lot of my time and I was spending more time on those fics than this one. Shame on me! I only have a couple chapters to go, so I'll try to finish this story ASAP. I apologize for the lack of action in this update, though, because it's really just a filler. The next chapter will be better and Steve and Nat will be in it.

* * *

 

 

  
Maria's eyes were as wide as two gold saucers. "Wow, that really happened? And in the grocery store, too?"

"Yes. I always had a suspicion that Peter loved Steve like a father, but hearing it from his lips was the final confirmation. I think it's wonderful, though. Don't you?" Wanda smiled at Maria as she browned meat in a pot on the stovetop.

"Of course. That's amazing. I remember how I used to say that Peter saw Steve as an uncle more than a father figure. I was _far_ off base."

Both women looked over at Peter, who was currently on Vision's back as they put up the _Happy Birthday, Natasha!_ banner over the entrance to the living room. How he'd grown in the five years they'd known him. That growth was definitely attributed to Natasha, but Steve was another important factor as well.

But first, it began with the adoption.

Natasha adopted Peter when he was eleven years old. His parents had died when he was a toddler which was why his Aunt May and Uncle Ben became his legal guardians. Unfortunately, when Peter was eleven years old, they were both killed in a car accident and that had left him without any family at all.

Luckily, Natasha had been friends with Peter's aunt and when she heard about his situation, she chose to get involved. At first, she thought it would be best if she were just his foster mother for a while, then give him up to a pair of adoptive parents.

That idea didn't last long, though, and that was mostly due to Steve. He told Natasha that it wouldn't be fair for her to only have Peter around as a foster kid since he wouldn't be staying with her long. It was a hard thing to get close to a child, only to give them up to someone else.

While the redhead tried to argue that she didn't have the time to devote to Peter as a full-fledged adoptive parent because of her job, Steve reminded her that the Avengers Tower was full of caring people who could take turns looking after him if she ever needed to be away on a lengthy mission.

There was hardly, if ever, a situation where every single one of the Avengers had to be out fighting. And on the rare occasion that there was, Pepper and Maria could manage to drop by and make sure Peter was doing okay - they actually went to Natasha and confirmed this for her as a way of giving her more incentive. 

To be honest, everyone knew that her claims of keeping Peter as a foster child were pretty half-hearted. He just had a way of warming his way into your heart and staying there for good. Natasha already adored the boy after a mere two weeks of his arrival.

So, later that year, she formally adopted Peter. Of course, there was some concern from the courts about Natasha's past about her being an unfit mother, but Tony Stark's lawyers took care of everything. They also got testimonies and statements from all of the Avengers - even Vision, who was surprisingly vocal in his support of Natasha's abilities as a parent - and people they knew who they could trust.

The media managed to get wind of it, which was a mild annoyance because when does the media ever report anything that _isn't_ the least bit exaggerated and sensationalist? Everyone had an opinion about the Black Widow having a child, but none of them understood the situation.

It wasn't the Black Widow who chose to adopt Peter, but Natasha Romanoff. She was not the same woman she'd been when she was with the KGB or even when she first joined SHIELD. She had truly changed for the better.

"What are you girls talking about?" Sam came over and kissed Maria on the temple.

His girlfriend smiled at him as she added spices to the pot of marinara sauce she was heating. "Wanda was telling me how Peter confessed that he looks at Steve as a father figure."

"No kidding?" Sam smiled and began to nod. "Yeah, that makes sense and it's fitting, too. I never said anything out loud, but I kind of always thought of them as a unit, you know? Steve, Natasha and Peter. They really fit together."

Maria shook her head ruefully. "I feel so silly. All this time, I thought Steve and Peter had a more uncle-nephew relationship, but I was way off base."

Bucky patted Maria shoulder. "That's nothing to feel bad about. Remember, you don't live here like the rest of us do, so you haven't seen all the little things that we have on a daily basis."

"Like what, for instance?"

"Well...two years ago, Wanda and I were having a picnic in our room, but I forgot the wine. So I went to the kitchen to get it and I saw Peter and Steve, sitting on the stools at the island."

"What were they doing?"

"Studying."

"Oh, my God!" Wanda exclaimed in surprise. "Are you serious??"

"Yeah."

"Bucky Barnes!" I can't believe that you never told me about this!" She smacked him on the chest.

"Well, you never asked, so..."

"Okay, okay. It doesn't really matter, now. But what were they studying?"

"History. Which is funny because Steve had missed so many years and important events in US and world history due to being frozen."

Maria snapped her fingers. "Right, but didn't he take some kind of history course for a year to fill in everything he missed?"

"Mmhm. Nat helped him with that as part of the whole century adjustment thing she was doing for him. That's actually one of the reasons why they got so close. Since they were spending a lot of time together, it only made sense that their relationship would improve."

"Who would have thought that Steve learning that course would have such results?" Wanda signed and cupped her face in her hands. "It's almost like something out of a fairy tale."

Bucky opened the refrigerator, looking for a can of beer. Once he found one, he opened it and took a long drink. "I guess you could say that. If Nat had seen Pete and Steve bonding, she'd have gotten misty eyed over it."

"That's true," replied Sam. "The more she's around Steve, the more affectionate she became. He rubbed off on her pretty good."

"Love is a powerful thing," mused Maria as she gently bumped her hip to Sam's. "You know that better than anyone."

"Indeed, I do." A playful glint appeared in his brown eyes.

She ran her finger along the bottom of his lip and grinned at him suggestively. "And since you love me so much, I have something in mind that I'd like you to do."

"Oh? And what's that?"

"You can help me make the lasagna!"

Wanda laughed softly and Bucky snorted.

Sam frowned at his girlfriend. "No fair. You teased me."

"Well, the sooner we get this lasagna ready, the sooner we can have a little fun before Steve and Natasha get here." Maria pressed her lips to Sam's neck and sucked the skin softly.

"Get a room!" Groaned Bucky and he threw a hand towel over their heads.

Maria pulled back from Sam's neck and smirked. "I wouldn't talk, Barnes, seeing as how you and Wanda kept everyone awake with all the noise you made last night."

Bucky just rolled his eyes, but said nothing because she had him there. He looked at Wanda and the sauce she was still stirring. "Is there anything _I_ can do to help speed things up?"

The young brunette raised her eyebrows. "Are you serious?"

"Yeah. We only have three more hours before they get here and we need to have everything set up when Natasha comes into the kitchen."

"You can help me with the salad."

"Okay. Even though I hate salad, this is going to be a great one. We're doing it together?"

"Mmhm."

"But couldn't you get it done faster without me by using your powers?"

"I could...but I like us doing things as a couple, Bucky. You and I making a salad together is an intimacy that I've never the luxury of experiencing before."

Bucky understood what Wanda meant. Domesticity was what she craved. Sure, they were living in the same quarters and everyone knew that they were dating, but they never did anything remotely close to cooking together.

He didn't know why, either. The thought just never crossed his mind, but it obviously did for her, and he wasn't going to turn his girl down for anything. He liked the idea of doing this with her. It was new territory for him, but since they were together now, why not experience something different?

"Okay, doll. You bake the chicken and season it and I'll cut up the vegetables. How's that sound?"

Wanda's eyes brightened and she stood on her tip toes to kiss him softly. "It sounds perfect."

 

 


	10. Memories Like These

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Natasha is surprised by a secret birthday party her fellow Avengers have thrown for her, but Steve has an even bigger surprise._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, we're finally at the end of the line for this fic. It took me a long time to get here, but I hope you guys will love this final chapter as much as you did the earlier ones.

* * *

 

 

"God, I can't _wait_ to take a shower," Natasha said as she unzipped her suit and let out a sigh of relief as it fell to the ground.

Steve licked his lips when he saw that his girlfriend wasn't even wearing a bra under her black widow suit, just a thong. _"_ Since when did you start going _commando_ , Nat?"he asked in a breathless voice. 

She turned and gave him a wicked grin. "Oh, I like doing it from time to time when we're in a place that has a cold climate. Makes it fun to tease you. Especially when my nipples get hard and show through my suit."

The super soldier felt himself shiver and yes, his eyes lowered to look at her to full, pale breasts. Even now, the nipples were still hard buds, poking out and begging for him to touch them. Steve came closer, unable to resist covering one with his hand and he smirked as she sighed in pleasure.

Slowly stroking her nipple back and forth with his thumb, Steve replied, "You know I hate it when you tease me."

"Mm, more like you love it." Natasha closed her eyes and leaned into the touch, pressing her soft body to his own. "Why don't we have a little wet fun in the shower, hm?"

He kissed her neck and nipped at the bare skin, enjoying the sounds the ministrations elicited from her. "Sounds like a plan. You get the water started and I'll join you shortly."

"Okay, baby," she murmured, opening her eyes to wink at him. First, she nudged the hard length in his pants with her thigh and pulled away. Then she turned around, making a big show of shimmying out of the thong she wore and tossing it aside. "Don't be too long or I may have to start without you."

A rush of blood ran down to his groin, blue eyes glazing over at the sight of Natasha's lovely ass swinging away from him. He pulled his cell from a side pocket of his pants and texted Bucky.

**_We're back now. Nat is about to take a shower and I'll try to keep her distracted for a while. I hope you guys have everything ready. -SR_ **

Then he tossed the phone on his bed and began tearing the now very constricting uniform from his body, making his way to the bathroom. Knowing how much Natasha liked foreplay, Steve was certain he could keep her busy for a good half hour. She _loved_ shower sex.

 

* * *

 

Bucky read the message on his phone and laughed. Wanda stood beside him and cocked her head. "What's going on?" She asked in a whisper, since Peter and Vision were only a few feet away.

"Well, Steve's keeping Nat busy in their shower, so we should be able to have everything finished by then."

"Ohh, I see. Good." Wanda smirked because she knew how horny her two friends were for each other. The brunette turned towards and looked down at the salad, yeast rolls, enchiladas and lasagna they placed on the opposite counter. "Everything is just about done, except for the pimiento cheese sandwiches..."

"Not anymore," said Maria as she and Sam walked into the kitchen and placed a large plate of sandwiches on the counter. "Sam decided to make a chex mix too, so we'd have something sweet and salty to snack on."

"Thanks, you guys. I can't believe I hadn't thought of a mixed snack. Good thinking, Sam." Wanda gave him a smile and a nod.

"Sure. It's Nat's birthday, after all. I figured that a little addition to the menu wouldn't hurt."

"I agree. All of the food is prepared and there's nothing left but that cake." Wanda looked at the oven timer. There was only twelve minutes left before it would be ready, but the smell was already intoxicating everyone's senses.

Scott rubbed his belly. "I can't wait to get a piece of that. Homemade cooking is always the best."

Vision smiled. "Thank you, Scott. Wanda, Peter and I worked very hard on it. Using Nutella for frosting was a good idea. I have a feeling that Natasha will appreciate it."

"Hell, yeah, she will. Nutella is Nat's favourite treat besides Lorna Doone's. I've seen her dig into one of those thirty-two ounce jars with a spoon. She'll eat that stuff in anything or by itself."

Pepper added, "As much as Natasha loves Nutella and Lorna Doone's, I decided to bake a large Dutch apple pie for tonight. Just in case someone wants to eat something a bit less sweet. I brought it over an hour ago and put it in the toaster oven so it wouldn't get cold. I also bought Reddi Whip to go on top of it."

Tony stared at his girlfriend in shock. "You made a _pie_? With your bare hands?"

She rolled her eyes. "Yes, Tony. Apple pie was one of the first desserts my mother taught me to make. I told you this years ago. Remember?"

"Uh, no."

"Mmhm. Well, anyway, you'll love it. I don't put a lot of sugar in it whenever I bake it, so I think you could eat a slice without any issue." She knew how Tony wasn't a big fan of sweets.

Tony have Pepper a kiss on the lips. "Thanks, Pepp. I can't wait to taste it."

"That's a smart idea, Pepper," said Wanda thoughtfully. "Because as big as the cake is, I'm not sure if it'll be enough for all of us. Especially Thor."

Upon hearing his name, the thunderer laughed heartily. "I can assure you, Wanda, I will keep my appetite under control. Cake is a human delicacy I have enjoyed more than most, but I will take but a sliver and leave plenty for the rest of you."

"I'm glad to hear that, Thor," retorted Peter. "Because I was afraid you'd swallow the entire thing whole and leave us with crumbs."

Thor just grinned and put his arm around the boy's neck, mussing his hair.

Wanda watched the camaraderie of her friends and leaned her head on Bucky's shoulder. She stood there and hummed to herself as their friends began to chat and joke amongst themselves. It was a scene that touched her heart deeply. After the horror of what happened to her country of Sokovia, Wanda hadn't been sure if she would ever feel so content the way she did now.

Here, with the Avengers, she had a family, people who loved her and saw her as a sister, a daughter, an aunt, a best friend, a lover. Pietro was her twin brother by blood, but these people were just as close to her as he. She finally found somewhere she belonged.

"You okay, doll?"

"Hm?" Wanda looked up at Bucky, who watched her curiously.

"Got a lot on your mind?"

"Oh...yes and no. I'm just so happy right now with all of you. I don't know where I'd be if it weren't for Steve, Thor or Natasha or you. I feel like I've finally come home."

Bucky understood her completely and kissed her forehead softly. "You _are_ home, moya lyubov. You are."

 

* * *

 

  
After their long, erotic shower followed by a lengthy and playful dry off, Steve and Natasha finally left their room and walked down the hall to the kitchen to get something to eat.

"I can't remember the last time I've been so hungry."

"So that's why you were so crazy in the shower. Sometimes, I think you're too much for me, Nat," Steve remarked and nudging her hip.

"Oh, please. You're the only man in the world who can handle me. I especially liked that thing you did with your tongue..." 

"I'm glad you liked it, Nat. Remind me to do it again after we get some food in our stomachs."

"Tsk, always so horny, Steve."

"You and me both, honey." Steve pecked Natasha's nose.

"I don't know what to do with yo-" Her words cut off and she frowned, sniffing. "What's that smell?"

"I dunno. Smells like...a lot of different smells, actually."

"Yeah, but why is the light off in the kitchen?"

"Heck if I know," Steve retorted and as they got closer, he smiled at her confused expression because he **did** know the reason why, but he wasn't going to tell her.

Once they stood in the kitchen, Natasha breathed in deeply and her gaze flickered to Steve. The smells of many different food hit her nostrils and she was very curious about the lights being off. Was someone playing a prank or what?

Her hands went to the light switch, but it didn't come on. "What the hell? Steve, I think the light switch may be broken. "Steve?" Natasha turned, but Steve wasn't behind her anymore. "Steve? Come on. I have no time for games, babe. I'm hungry and I really don't want to play hide 'n seek with you."

"Don't worry, Nat. I wouldn't dream of doing that."

Instead of behind her, the voice came from directly in front of her and Natasha reached out to touch him. "Steve?"

Suddenly, the lights came back on and a lot of voices yelled, "Surprise!"

For a moment, Natasha covered her eyes because of the bright light shining in her face and she groaned, blinking furiously. "What in the world...?" When her eyes finally adjusted to the light, she saw her whole team standing a few feet away with big smiles on their faces.

Steve stepped out from the crowd and took her hand in his. "We wanted to give you a birthday celebration since today is your birthday, Nat."

"You did?" Her eyes were as wide as two gold pieces as she took in the food on the kitchen counter. Pimiento cheese sandwiches, chex mix, lasagna, enchiladas, salad, yeast rolls, a large apple pie and a big chocolate frosted cake. "You guys...you did this for me?"

"Of course we did, Mom," said Peter as he came over to take her other hand in his own. "We love you and you're an important part of this family."

"Damn straight. And you're the only one of us who can actually scare Tony into silence," chimed Pietro and he smirked at the older man.

Tony just rolled his eyes. "But it's not just how authoritative or okay, yeah, _scary_ you are that makes us love you. You care about all of us, even when we act like idiots. You're like a mother hen for this entire team and that's not easy."

"What we are saying, dear Natasha, is that we wish to honour you with this celebration just as you have honoured us with your presence and patience on this team for so many years."

Tears began to run down Natasha's face and she sniffled, overwhelmed by the emotions she felt. "I don't know what to say."

Steve handed her a handkerchief and she wiped her face with it. "I know this is a lot to take in, but maybe a little thank you wouldn't hurt." He said this teasingly. "Especially since we had Scott enlarge your Lorna Doone's and put them in your cake."

"You what?" Her green eyes stared at the cake and she came closer to look at it. "That's what my cookies were stolen for? My birthday cake?"

"Yeah, but it's more like we borrowed them because you're still eating the cake with the cookies in it," Wanda replied. "And we used Nutella for the frosting since we know how much you love those. Basically, this whole spread is for you because these are all some of your favourite things. Tonight is all about you, Nat."

"This is so sweet. Thank you so much for this. I had no idea you planned to throw me a surprise party, but I really appreciate it." Natasha laughed happily and wiped her eyes again.

"Well, that's not the only surprise in store."

The redhead looked at the man standing next to her curiously. "What do you mean, Steve? Did you guys get me _presents_ , too?"

"Actually, we did get you some gifts. Birthdays aren't the same without them, but the one I got you is a different kind."

She raised an eyebrow. "Please don't tell me that you bought me a pony or anything outrageous like that."

"No, my gift is more of the...diamond variety." Steve got down on one knee and Natasha gasped, covering her mouth with her hand, realising what was happening.

 _"Steve,"_ she said in a shaky voice.

The blond smiled up at her and pulled out a small ring box from his jacket. He opened it and revealed a white diamond ring in the shape of a spider. Natasha gasped again as stared at the ring, her breaths coming in very short puffs.

"Natalia Alianovna Romanova, from the day we met, you fascinated me. The more we worked side by side as partners at SHIELD and as teammates and Avengers, I found myself wanting to get to know you, to be your friend and you allowed it. You let me in and I knew that wasn't easy for you. You've been through so much in your life, experienced things that no one should ever have to experience, but you didn't let it break you."

"You fought people's expectations of you, your own fears and let yourself blossom. You dropped your defences and let me see the secret part of you that no one knows and you did it _willingly_. You didn't have to trust me, but you did anyway because you began to see yourself in a different light. For the first time in a long time, you realised that you could have a happy life. Well, I see that, too. I've always seen it because I never doubted that you deserved the best."

"When you adopted Peter, we weren't even together at that point, but I looked out for him, helped you raise him and grew to love him like he were my own son. I just never told you how I dreamed that one day, he'd be ours."

Natasha sucked in another gasp and her lips trembled as her love of her life knelt before her, pouring out his heart to her. Steve had never been this vulnerable, this open with her before - much less, in front of all of her friends - and it touched her deeply. It took everything she had, every bit of will power to keep from screaming, "Yes, I'll marry you!" She just hoped that he would finish speaking soon so she could accept his proposal.

"You know me better than anyone else alive and I know you. I want you to be my girl, Nat. I want you to wake up in the morning and see this reminder of my love for you on your finger every day. I want you _forever_ , for as long as we both live." Then he looked at Peter, who had tears in his own eyes as he watched the scene unfold before him. "And I want to adopt Peter as our son, so we'll officially be his parents together. I couldn't imagine our lives without him in it."

After looking at the boy for a brief moment, Steve gazed back to Natasha, tears falling from his eyes as well. "I love you with every breath, Natalia. Would you do me the honour of becoming my wife and making me Peter's father?"

"Oh, Steve, yes, yes! A thousand times, yes!" Natasha dropped the handkerchief and pressed her hands to her heart as an rush of unparalleled joy washed over her.

Steve gently took her hand and slid the diamond onto her finger. Then he stood and wrapped her in his arms, holding her tightly to him. "You won't regret it, baby."

"I know I won't." Natasha's hand came to rest on his chest and she pressed her lips to his, passionately. Happy cheers, crying and whistles sounded from behind them and they both smiled into the kiss.

Eventually, they had to pull back to breathe and once they did, Peter ran over and crushed them in a hug. Natasha and Steve enveloped the boy in their embrace. When Peter looked at Steve, he said, "Is it alright if I call you dad, now?"

Steve put his arm around the boy and kissed his forehead. "Of course you can."

"Thank you," he replied softly.

All three of them stood there hugging each other, looking like three of the happiest people in the world. And so, they were.

 

 


End file.
